Sunday, 29 May 2011
Last blogged @ 19:14

Assalamualaikum<3
I really had a blast day yesterday. Went out with BabyGirls<3 to Lot One to catch Kungfu Panda 2. And I swear, I really enjoyed my day. Being the youngest among them didn't stop me from going out with them.

Let's see. We met each other at religious class. When I was Primary 4, they are sitting for their PSLE. Primary 6. We spent our 2 years together at religious class. When we graduated, we eventually parted. :( We lost contact for almost a year plus. Eventually, we met again on Facebook. From there, we contacted each other. We made this outing. There is supposed to be 4 of us. One of us can't make it on that day, which was yesterday :(

So yes. 4 of us were supposed to head to Sentosa yesterday. Rushiqah can't make it, so we head to Lot One to catch KUNGFU PANDA 2! Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Cutest movie ever. We camwhore. We ate at Long John Silver. We play around. We laughed like there's no tomorrow. Babygirls. I love you girls very very much.

Seriously, you girls made my day. It's been a long time since I laughed hardly. It's been a long time since I last felt that I really have no problems to think of. I felt that my shoulders are really light. My problems are all washed away when the 3 of us spent time together. No awkwardness, that's what I like the most. I really have nothing to describe about yesterday's event. I just enjoyed yesterday very very much. If only it's possible for the three of us to be in the same school, and get to meet everyday. (Well, actually meeting each other everyday is possible. But nah. Babygirls taking N levels this year. Well, I'm only 14. HEHEHEH :P But still, all the best for both of my babygirls<3)
We talked about a lot of stuffs yesterday. We bitch about this slut in my school. My junior.(Well, I don't really admit that she's my junior.) HAHA, NOT TO FORGET. We also did bitch about this girl in Jurongville Sec. Aw, gambar tunjuk buah dada. We did took a lot of pictures and it's all in Facebook. We don't care what outsiders might think about us. We do look bitchy, but well. We know ourselves well more than outsiders do.

There's no exact words to describe what I feel. Three of us created the most wonderful memories yesterday. I gonna swear that I'm not forgetting about yesterday. They are the only ones who understands what I'm going through right now. They understand me well. The 3 of us do feel what each other feels like. 3 of us may look at other guys, but there's only one guy we have in our minds. We LOVE our ex-boyfriend(s). We ourselves know that it's hard to move on. The only thing that I could say is that; nobody could understand me like THEY do.<3

Assalamualaikum.

Sunday, 22 May 2011
Last blogged @ 14:14

I found this, somewhere in the cyberworld.

Last blogged @ 13:55

Assalamualaikum. :>
Yes. I'm running out of photos. Not talking much, let's start posting.

21st May. Yesterday.
Baby. Happy 14th monthsary. Yes, though we didn't make it, I'm still counting, and I'm still waiting for your return. I still love you, and still love our past. I never thought that it would come to an end. Those promises you gave. I'm not blaming anything on you. I knew where I went wrong. You're taking your O levels this year. Taking O's, which means, you're spending lesser time with me. Since the starting of the year, we've been fighting. I don't even know, whether are we still together as one.

I'm done there. I don't wish to post that much. Just a short paragraph, my tears started to roll down. I miss him. But I'm still proud of something. Though he isn't my boyfriend, he still bothered to be concerned about me, and where I am. Every Friday, I got night class @ Assyakirin. When I reached home, my phone suddenly vibrated. And yes, a surprise phone call from him<3. I didn't expect him to call me. He asked where I was, and yeah. I was hyper for no certain reason. Every phone call from him, though it's only a short conversation, it still made my day.



Assalamualaikum :D

Saturday, 21 May 2011
Last blogged @ 11:27

Assalamualaikum.
Life's been miserable for me nowadays. Nah, no. Life's been interesting for me. Ups and downs everywhere I go. Interesting right? It's like a roller coaster life. At times, I'm uncertain even with my own feelings. I don't give a damn fuck about what others might say. I do treat guys the same. But there's ONLY O N E guy who will always be different from the others. Fuck it, fuck what others might think about me. I know myself well. Do you? Nah. You don't. :)

Fuck my life. I just wanna stop all this, focus more on what I should, and don't give a damn about anything. Cause hopes will end up into tears. Should stop all this, and come back at the right moment.

Was quite satisfied when I received back my examination papers and see my scores, not to forget, grades. For my Home Economics theory paper, well. I can't say much about it. To the teacher who marked my paper, please. Go dig your own grave. I should get full marks for my time plan, yet you only gave me two marks. FUCK IT. I could get 70+ for my theory paper, yet I only got 51.5/80. Consultation? I don't give a damn about it anymore. I just wanna get into Design and Technology next year. Not Food and Nutrition. But my hopes were crushed, ONCE AGAIN. Continue reading to find out.
For my Home Economics paper, I tried to fail, but I can't. For this particular question. I was given a cooking method. The question asked me for METHOD and DEFINITION.
EG:
*picture*
Method: Stir frying.
Definition: To fry food.

Nah. But still. I couldn't fail that paper. -.-' Just passed. I thought my hopes were there. BUT WHEN I SAW MY OVERALL MARKS, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I got an A1. Form teacher even said that I might get F&N course next year. FML. I wan't D&T for godness sake. F it. Let's just wait for the end of the year.

For my other subjects, alhamdullilah. It's the first time ever I passed my Science in secondary school life. Since Sec One last year, I kept failing. I was actually quite proud of myself, especially for Physics. 24/34. Yes. Though I wasn't top in class, I saw myself improving. Chemistry bought me down. But overall, for my Physics, Chemistry and Biology, I passed all of them. :D
Mathematics? WOWWWWW. 30/100. Yes, I didn't pass. Yet I can say, I'm proud of myself. I usually got 20 or below since last year. Quite a big improvement for myself. Alhamdullilah :D Overall marks, I failed two subjects. Fuck History. I NEED MY HALF MARKS TO PASS. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF IT! Nevermind. Next semester, Geography. Kill me somebodeh!

But still. I am quite satisfied with myself. Yes, I do fail. I know, I can do better. I am improving, but not that fast. I improve slowly :>


I'm done here.
Assalamualaikum.

Monday, 16 May 2011
Last blogged @ 20:16

Assalamualaikum.
Thank God. I've finished all my papers. Oh yeah! :D Life's been great lately. Well, not really.
Somebody has been freaking me out each morning during assembly. Well Ayuni. You should know who, Big Eyes. Yes, this Big Eyes have been freaking me out. He tried to turn to look at me when I was looking somewhere else. When I turned back, I saw him staring. It's only his big eyes freaked me out. But seriously, it's scary~

OKay. Like I said, exams over. I had my last paper today. Well. It was a disaster. D I S A S T E R I tell ya! After Art, was Malay Oral. While waiting, I received my Malay papers back. Alhamdullilah, I passed :)

Shall end here. Assalamualaikum :)

Saturday, 7 May 2011
Last blogged @ 16:39

assalamualaikum
OKay. It's obvious, the picture above is not me. But my post today has something to do with her♥
HEHEHEHE.

Life's been hard for me nowadays. No. It's not that I have some sort of family problems. It's just about my life, me, and the way I'm treating people. Sometimes. I just feel like pushing everything away. With my Mid Year Examinations and all of the problems coming to me without stopping. I really do need a break from all of this shits.

First and for most. After I've ended my relationship with him, things been hard for me. It's isn't easy to accept reality that he isn't with me anymore. He's always been the one I'm depending on. And now, I have to go independant. Well, it wasn't easy at first until I realised that I got wonderful friends. Oh well, not to forget. My dearest senior up there in the photo.

Sometimes in life, I should really consider wether the steps that I took is right, or wrong. Because, for the past few days, I realised, that every mini step of mine, leads to crushed hope. Ex-boyfriend promised me, that we will get back together, after he ended his O levels. He once told me after the break up. He said this: "Regardless whether we've broken up or not, you're still mine" This sentence, gave me a lot of hopes. It's not just a small little hope. Each night before I go to bed, I will say to myself that sentence. Without fail. And the next day when I got up in the morning, I knew that my hopes keeps getting bigger and bigger. But like what I've said. Every time my hopes gets bigger, it will end up to only crushed hopes. Every single time.
I'm not saying it's his fault. Partly, it's mine too. I'm that type of girl who gets jealoused easily. All girls do get jealoused easily. And guys, we're jealoused not because we don't trust you. We're jealoused, cause we don't feel secured. Get that in your brain, to all guys out there.
OKay. Back to topic.
Sorry if I've been repeating the same thing over and over again. Yesterday, I had another fight with ex-boyfriend. Yes, and the cause is me. For this time round, I knew that this is gonna happen, yet I still took the risks. In life, we shouldn't be too friendly. Yesterday's fight between ex-boyfriend and I really made me lose hope. I was almost losing everything. Not almost. Infact, I really gave everything up. Read on, to know what happen.
I got a junior; Amir. I regarded him just like a best junior to me. Or just a friend. Nah, just a j u n i o r. He's 13, a year younger than me. I don't know what's gotta into him; he sent me home from school yesterday. He phoned me up on the Thursday afternoon. The moment I received his phone call, I knew, something will not be right from there. My insticts tells me so. I just accepted his offer, thinking that he'll understand, that I wouldn't fall for him. He treat me my favourite drink, and sent me home, right infront of my door. But things went wrong eventually. He started to call me his "baby" and said that I'm his, admirer. From there, I knew that I gotta get clean. Being straight forward, that's just me. "Idk ah whether kau anta to the right person or not. Just wanna tell you. Our relationship is only stakat senior and junior. I'm not giving you hopes. But yes. We're just something like brother/sister. Things will be impossible between us okay.
Yes. I do appreciate you sending me home and treating me Passion Fruit drink. But you gotta knw. I still hadn't move on. Yes. I am confused with my own feelings between me and Fairus.
We're only friends okay. Not more than tht. :)"
That was what I said. Yes. You may say that I'm a bitch, slut, or a bad senior. BUT! I already said to him before, anything happens, I'll just regard him no more than a brother.
Sometimes. I just feel, it's my fault too. Yes. I'm not saying that it's Amir's fault. Maybe the way I treated him, makes him forget, he's my junior. Oh well. I'm not God. I'm just predicting. I am friendly. & I do think, I should stop that habit of being friendly.

Just because of that lil kid, that leads to my crushed hopes.Yes. I fought with ex-boyfriend. From that point of time, I already felt useless. I lost all my power. And for now. I just don't wish to elaborate much about me and him. Words can kill someone. I don't want another misunderstanding to happen.
And for now. I'm not expecting much from him, from us, from anything. Just go on with the flow. If it's really our fate, we will be together. Insya'Allah.

Not to forget. I didn't post Ayuni's picture up there for fun.She's been the one who gave me encouragements to continue with my life. Yes. I've always been the one to ask her to teach me Math, but plans will always cock up. She's always been the one who gave me great advices. Though she hasn't gone into a relationship, she will still give any advice, that will work for me. Aw. She's the best<3
HEHEHE. BIG EYES. :B

Not to forget. My dearest babygirl, Nur Ilyka Bte Salim. I miss dia boleh tak?
She's also been one of my closest girlf, who gave me courage to continue on.
Meeting up with her soon. No cock up plans please? :< HEHE
Allah. Please do make her strong. Babyg. I may not be there for you. I may not give the best advices like how you gave to me when I need those advices. Sorry if I can't do the same for you. But you know I love you :D

That's all for today. I've learnt my lesson. Not to be too friendly :P
Assalamualaikum.

Labels: High expections kills

Sunday, 1 May 2011
Last blogged @ 22:48

assalamualaikum.
Oh yes. Today Labour Day. Went for a family bonding. Picnic at ECP. Whoo yeah.
Oh yes. To ladies out there. Pergi pantai, takmu nak tangkap jambu depan abang abang eh, tolong. Pecahchos siol perangai!

OKay. Let's talk about my Nationals. Was supposed to row for 4 events, but ended up, thanks to the whether, only managed to row for two races. B division, plus some of the C division, 20 crew boat, 500m. We emerged 5th. No, it's not that we're slow. We did put our best effort. Though we were disappointed, plus we made coach disappointed, we knew that we already put in our best effort. It's only that the other teams did better than us. BUT. For C division, 10 crew boat. 500m race, we emergeddddddddddddddddddddddd. SECOND BABY, SECOND. At least, we proved to the other schools, that we're not losers baby. :D
Actually, we have to take part in C division, 10 crew boat, 250m. I was already putting my hopes there. But unfortunately, the race can't continue :( Thanks ah. WHY CANNOT DRAG THE RACE, FATHER MUCKER! Okay. Let the past be the past. Next year, I'll be leaving C division, and and joining B division. Let's make coach proud once again, dragonboaters! :D Yes yes yes, we can!
Hopefully, coach won't be leaving us, when he set up new canoe team. Insya'Allah he won't.

Let's talk about my private life.
When I read my past of 21st April, my tears just can't stop flowing. Humans change, memories stay.
I still love him, and I can't deny anything about it. Let's come clean. I'm a type of girl who needs attention. I'm a type of girl, who needs someone to be by my side, so that I won't feel lonely and I could share my thoughts, feelings and everything. Hmm. I was in dilemma for the past few days. But alhamdullilah, I'm alright now.
I was in a relationship for a day, with my ex. Farreq Ehqmal. Oh fuck not. I won't even declare he was mine. When Fairus found out, damn. He was sure unhappy about it. Wow. :P Then, from there, I got his trust back.

Oh wait!! I missed out something.

Actually, before I got into a day of relationship, there's a couple of guys wanted to my steady steady bom pik pik. 2 ITE guys, 1 NS man guy. Okay. I actually contacted with this NS man guy; Ijal. We texted this and that. He asked me to be his girlfriend. And yes. I rejected. First, cause I still love Fairus. Second, he's almost the same age as my brother. He's 18, and I'm 14. I treated him just like a friend, not more than that. But less than that got ah. It's so-called Teman Tapi Mesra, TTM.

K. Continue story.

Actually, that was part of my plan, to get Fairus's attention back. Oh wait. I'm not an attention seeker. Then, the next day, I was staying back in school to study with my dearest senior, Ayuni. While waiting for Ayuni to end her remedial, I slacked in the library. Then, my junior baby/Amir, and Fairus came. I went out of the library, leaving my phone with Amir. And when I came back, my phone was with Fairus, and Fairus suddenly got mad and walked off, saying "Go kehh wit your Ijal baby" (WOW IMPRESSIVE. I'M TYPING LIKE HOW FAIRUS TYPE.) I was like, WHAT? Then suddenly he said LALALA and skipped. Well, he was cute XD
But then, from there, I understood why. Amir told me that Fairus read my messages, and yes. HE WAS JEALOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED XD k giler. Despite me being happy, Amir, my junior baby, banged his head on the wall. Yes, he was guilty. He knew what happened between Fairus and me for the past few days. He banged, till he looked pale. He kept on crying, and blamed himself. And yes, I have to talk to him slowly.

We fought here and there here and there. I begged like one begger. And yes. He did forgive me, and gave me another chance. Happy please? Okay, personal life ends here okay.


Okay, I'm done here.
My tupaibaby went to Malaysia, and will be returning on Monday, which is tomorrow. Cepat balik please, tupai :(
Assalamualaikum :D

Tupaibaby sape pulak eh? - for me to know, for you to find out. :D

Labels: tupaibabyyyy